וְאָהַבְת

• For The Harediם
• The Dacian Experiment
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For The Harediם

There is one truth, but many paths - even in the Torah.

Reshet Chochma ↟↟

PART "A" א is "Reshet Chochma, Yirat Adonai".

Translation: The beginning of wisdom is the fear (Awe) of The Lord.

But what is PART "B" תּ - the Sof Chochma?

Translation: "Sof Chochma" means the End of wisdom literally translated but the inner meaning is the "Source" of wisdom or in other words, where is the point that wisdom comes from?

Sof Chochma סוף חכמה is just as important as Reshet.

In other words, the end is just as important as the beginning but the "Zen" trick is that The End is actually The Beginning.

So?

So what is the End of Wisdom?

VeAhavtah ↟↟

And you will love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, all you soul and all your strength.

וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל־נַפְשְׁךָ וּבְכָל־מְאֹדֶךָ

Haredi, You say this every day and yet how many of you have ever told your wife that you love her?

How can you expect to Love HaShem if you do not even know what Love is?

It even tells you The Path to follow, וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְהוָה

Stop thinking of וְאָהַבְתָּ as a word and start thinking of it as a name - but more importantly as a Path (like Tor-H) - and the את implies everything from Alef to Taf. Including your wife.

Just like את HaShamyim and את HaAretz.

See the Dacian Experiment below.

The Path Itself.

It is not just The Name of The Path, it IS the path itself.

Experience.

I speak from experience when I say that it was only telling my wife that I loved her and she responded that my heart opened up to experiences you cannot begin to imagine.

Suddenly I saw "The Path" (Tor H) through the very universe itself - very clearly.

You say this וְאָהַבְת path every day and yet you do not see it.

Feel

Feel your heart and chest area when you say this.

Mine opened up like a light shining in the darkness and has continued to "glow" almost every day for almost 25 years of marriage.

My spiritual experiences are infinitely richer because of this love.

Suggestion: ↟↟

Tell her during Shabbat evening meal when everyone is at the table so she knows that you are genuine.

There is no need for a song and dance (unless she likes that kind of thing), but just a simple few words "before or after" Havdalah like this:

"Adon Olam thank you for my beautiful wife."

"I love you my wife and I appreciate everything you do for me and the family".

*** LOOK into her eyes when you say this.

*** Be sincere.

Focus on your chest area and HaShem when you do say this.

*** Be genuine.

Please try.

Tip Du Jour ↟↟

Erev Shabbat and after the kids have gone to bed, sit down with your wife and you both write down 10 things you love and respect about each other.

You write down 10 things about her and she writes down 10 things about you.

If 10 is too many, then do a minimum of 5 things each.

Next, go through and explain why you love and respect each of these "items" on your list.

Here is the TIP:

Let her go first and LISTEN ----- DO NOT TALK >> OK.

If she says the roof fell off during the night, DO NOT OFFER to go and fix the roof.

Let her finish talking and then ASK HER what would she like you to do about the roof.

DO NOT be the stupid male in the story who does not listen to her full story regardless of how it may digress.

Be prepared for a 20 minute monolog before she inhales.

When you have both finished, touch her hand and tell her how much you appreciate her and BE GENUINE about it.

Note: That IF she starts crying, you have NOT upset her, these are emotional tears. She may even cry most of the night.

Do not be surprised if she is magically transformed and radiant the following morning.

And if you start crying, congratulations, you have taken the first emotional step to discovering what וְאָהַבְתָּ means.

Good luck.

Plus Try This As Well ↟↟

Since Shabbat is "for the family", when you go to bed, ask your wife what she would like to discuss and listen to what she says.

Do not tell her THE answer unless she asks.

This is the #1 "Male Mistake" of telling what you think is the answer before being asked.

This is not a Shut (שו"ת) test.

Question ↟↟

If you could condense the Torah into 5 verses, what 5 would you choose?

1. "The 4 Verses (+1)"

The Dacian Experiment

Romania is actually called Dacia (pronounced Day-She-Ah like "glacier" but with Day at the front) except it was renamed Romania by the Romans (of all people) and lime many other countries which have had their names changed, it left most of the original inhabitants and their descendants disenfranchised.

Let us jump forward to the 1900's.

Romania is run by a dictator who decides to communalize thousands of babies by having them placed in special "orphanages". + This video breaks my heart.

Some estimates say that there were over 100,000 babies taken - but when you read many reports the wording is that they were "abandoned" by their parents and whilst in some cases that may have been true, in most instances, they were taken by the communist Government of the day. + +

Why?

For ideological reasons - so that the children would grow up be unattached to their parents and more attached to the communist ideology spouted by the regime.

What is the point of this story?

The point is that most of these children ended up becoming emotional cripples because - and this will surprise most people - they were not cuddled or had any emotional interaction as babies.

In fact, many died because of "Emotional Malnourishment" (and yes, it actually is a condition).

My point here is that when you give Love you are more inclined to be aware of what it feels like and then when The Shekhinah (שְׁכִינָה) visits you - instead of being afraid - you will have one of the most beautiful experiences of your life.

I speak from multiple personal experiences regarding the last sentence - and "No", I do not partake of psychedelic medicines either pharmaceutical or home grown.

Being stoic is a fantastic attribute - but that is all it is - an attribute - and when it interferes with your connecting with The Creator (Psalm 27:4), then it must be relegated to its stoic place in the (מחסן) so that the Light of HaShem can fill your entire existence.

(In my opinion), this is the true meaning of the word "helpmate". ("Genesis 2:18" )

Note that the word Ezer (עזר) is not given in the feminine gender and also it does not specify L-Azor לעזר.

This implies that "women" deserve respect and kindness because there is no absolute command for them to be subservient.

One of the ways that you can show your appreciation for their "help" is as I have described above. By telling them that they are not only appreciated, but (IF) you do feel love towards her, then ... "tell her".

Remember that Shabbat is ALSO for the family and there is a reason for this.

I cannot tell you exactly what you may experience, but I can tell you this, IF you are at the level to receive the divine Love, and you have a "good" heart or better (כִּי-ט֑וֹב), then the experience of receiving this love will feel like your heart is as big as The Universe itself.

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהִ֔ים לֹא־ט֛וֹב הֱי֥וֹת הָֽאָדָ֖ם לְבַדּ֑וֹ אֶֽעֱשֶׂה־לּ֥וֹ עֵ֖זֶר כְּנֶגְדּֽוֹ

SUMMARY ↟↟

This lack of love and even caring in their early years still affects people today.

Many babies died literally from neglect and it was only the "volunteers" (mainly from America) who paid their own tickets and went to these "communist orphanages" and changed nappies, fed and cuddled these babies - these people save countless lives.

Consider how much richer your prayers and meditations will be to HaShem if you do them with an Open Heart?

Think about why the first Chasidim took up to 3 hours to daven then while now days, I have been in groups that race through the Shmonesre in 20 minutes and sometimes less.

And the most shallow and irritating are the oi-oi-oi-oi mob. Since no one else dares to say anything, I accept the Karma for doing so.

But first you must learn how to OPEN your heart.

FYI: Women love to be appreciated, even for the smallest of things.

יברכך יהוה וישמרך

Yi-va-rech-cHa Adonai VaYish-mi-rae-cHa

Please consider.